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I hate 'now'

To be honest, I'm in a state of hating myself right now.

I don't know. I think I'm starting to need an uncivilized world where we don't have to worry about school, job, money mostly. Then we live in a place full of tree, wild animals, and river. We hunt for food. We die for food also, lol.

Though It got me thinking, How do I live without electric company in a place like that? Precisely, how do I live without my laptop?

But, that's not the point. The point is, my life is quite kinda miserable. My date ditch me, and right now I'm bitching out.

Yeah, I pray a lil bit. Just a lil bit, but still no works done until now. My emotions control the chemistry inside my head and it's messy as if a bullet blow out my brain and I can't work. And I hate myself for that.

I am just that pathetic. Thinking about pathetic guy. In my pathetic life.

I mean, COME ON. Why can't I get over it?

Or is it maybe a curse of being a girl?

I just can't believe myself stuck like this. I totally have thousand--okay, this sound may so overeated, but yeah, I totally have so many friends in Planet Mars who are lot better than him. I actually have couple friends that I've been considered as my future 'special'. They got the whole package: brain, money, cute and very very very kind person (though I'm not sure whether they're 'kind' or not as a guy).

BUT WHY ON THE WORLD I CAN'T GET HIM OUTTA MY MIND?

He's way too far from my imaginary husband of the future. He's not that cute. He's not a foreigner. He doesn't have a blue eyes, blond hair. He's not tall. He's not that kind as a guy (but totally he's kind as a person). He's not my guy of my dream. But, God knows why I love him so much. And I actually don't wanna admit it at a time like this. No, I won't. He hurt me in every way. And now He totally ignoring me.

I hate him.

Darn, God WHY? WHY HIM?

1 comments:

lexdepraxis said...

Hmmm, tulisan yang menarik. Terima kasih ya telah berbagi.

Kebetulan kemarin saya juga barusan menulis topik serupa tentang membalas dendam. Cek saja entri saya yang berjudul Balas Dendam Itu Manis? Saya yakin bisa jadi referensi silang yang menambah pengetahuan kita bersama.

Salam kenal, dan sampai jumpa lagi nanti.

Lex dePraxis
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