Agnes Monica - Karena Ku Sanggup English Translation

Yep, you're right. This song is my heartbroken theme song. When David dumped me last year, I kept listening to this song every time I think I couldn't move on. And at that time, my friend, Welly kept accompanying me by singing this song together every day. I remember one day we both went to my friend's dorm and we kidnapped all people there to karaoke studio. We all sang this song together like crazy. They meant to make me cry, but I couldn't. LOL. And, we did some crazy things after that. We went to nearest open restaurant to eat and I dunno why but we all sang another ballad songs on there again. All people at the restaurant was like, 'Omo, who are those crazy people?' LOL

Those were my greatest night out EVER. I miss them so much. SO MUCH. I moved to other city a month after that. And they're so far away from me right now. So let's hear this song and sing along with it :D

Biar aku sentuhmu, berikanku rasa itu
Pelukmu yang dulu pernah buatku
Ku tak bisa paksamu tuk tinggal di sisiku
Walau kau yang selalu sakiti aku dengan perbuatanmu
Namun, sudah kau pergilah jangan kau sesali

Karena ku sanggup walau ku tak mau
Berdiri sendiri tanpamu
Aku mau kau tak usah ragu tinggalkan aku
Kalau memang harus begitu

Tak yakin ku kan mampu hapus rasa sakitku
Ku selalu perjuangkan cinta kita namun apa salahku
Hingga ku tak layak dapatkan kesungguhanmu

Let me touch you and give me that feeling
Your hug that once you gave me long time ago

I can't force you
To stay by my side
Even though I'm the one who got hurt
With everything you have done
But, it's all over, just go
Don't you ever regret this

Because I can though I doubt it
To stand on my own without you
I want you to not hesitate
To leave me alone...
If it meant to be like this

I'm not sure if I'm able
To ease this pain
I always fought for our love
But where did I go wrong?
That I don't deserve your sincerity

You don't need to make me understand
Just smile because I can...

I got to say this song fit to my situation with David back then. I remember I kept calling and texting him a whole week after he dumped me. I said something like, 'Please, tell me where did I go wrong? Why her and not me?' and he told me (so many times) to move on and I got to accept that he's not the one for me. He said, I had my chances but I lost it. It was hard but I made it. I moved on and feel grateful for that. I can't tell you why, but I'm pretty sure he feel the same way like I do.

But of course. This song is definitely not fit to my situation with you-know-who right now, lol. I just need this song to make me feel, "YES, I CAN...." I can move on....

I mean I can't force myself to keep chasing on him. Not after he said that I'm not the one he needs -sigh- 

If we meant to be together, we will be together no matter what. That's what I keep believe in, and I'm sorry I'm not God. I'm tired to make him believe in me. I'm tired to keep chasing on him. And I don't even mean anything to him. Why do I have to try so hard if he doesn't even care? 

Love, friendship and this life. I can't control it myself. I'll let God take care of those things. He knows exactly what I want. If He meant these things to happened, so be it. If He don't, I know He will make a way some how.

Yep, Tuhan. Gw nyerah. Now it's Your turn, Lord. Coz I did everything I have to do, but let's see if I could finish my last task though some people think it's not a good idea.


Project Pop - Komplikasi English Translation

 This song become the theme of my life recently and I always laugh when I listen to this. Project Pop, thank you for making this hilarious song *kiss* I'm gonna translate the whole lyric to English. But first, let's see the indonesian part first so you can sing along with them XD

Begini salah, begitu juga salah
Diem pasti sala, ngomong apalagi

Menghindar gak mungkin
Ngelawan gak yakin
Mengalah lagi-lagi, bikin kesel hati

Kamu komplikasi
Akunya frustrasi
‘Pala mumet-mumet
Hati empet-empet

* cape deh cape deh cape deh
cape deh cape deh cape deh
cape deh cape deh cape deh
ya cape deh

Minta maaf salah
Gak minta makin parah
Ngejawab artinya
Cari gara-gara

Kamu komplikasi
Akunya frustrasi
‘Pala mumet-mumet
Hatinya empet

repeat * [2x]

cape deh cape deh
kita semua cape deh
cape deh cape deh
tapi tetep cinta deh

cape deh cape deh
kita semua cape deh
cape deh cape deh
tapi tetep cinta deh

Kita komplikasi
Kitanya frustrasi
‘Pala mumet-mumet
Hatinya empet
repeat * [3x]

If I do this, I'm wrong
If I do that, I'm wrong
If I have nothing to say, it gets worse
let alone if I talk

I want to avoid you, but it's impossible
I want to confront you, but I'm not sure
I think I'm gonna give in again, but that's so upsetting

I'm so tired. So tired.
 So tired. So tired.
So tired. So tired.
Yes, I'm so tired.

You're so complicated, and I'm so frustrated
My head is aching so bad
My heart suffocated

I'm so tired. So tired.
 So tired. So tired.
So tired. So tired.
Yes, I'm so tired.

If I apologize, I'm wrong
If I don't, it gets worse
If I respond to your accuses,
then it means I'm looking for another trouble

So tired. We're all so tired.
So tired. So tired.
But I still love you, gosh.

So tired. We're all so tired.
So tired. So tired.
But, I still love you, Oh My God.

I always feel like someone stabbing me when I hear the last paragraph. LOL. Love is the weirdest thing in life. My advice, don't fall in love. Stay single and be happy. Don't be single and miserable like me haha.

You, and my ex-BFF

Hey, you!

Yes, you with the sweetest smile on your face.

I want to know more about you. Yes, I know your name. Yes, I heard everything about you from your friend aka my ex-best friend. I know it's been awkward since the day we met for the first time. You bring your friends to our journey to the mountain. You were mocking me and my ex-best friend coz we are the slowest, the stupidest, and also the craziest people on our group. And I was mad coz we just know each other at that time but you were so rude to me. I'm sorry I was almost 'kill' you there hahaha. But, at least we getting closer because of that and we had fun at that day. Even tho you tricked us. Darn, you make us went all the way to the other mountain ALONE. FOR GOD SAKE, I STILL CAN'T BELIEVE YOU LEFT US GIRLS IN THERE.

I was really surprised when I see you this afternoon on Mall. You with your girlfriend hand in hand and smile happily together. I heard rumors about your girlfriend. I wonder if you heard all of that and put a fake smile on your face. I wanted to say hi to you, and asked how you were doing, but I couldn't. I was too busy finishing my lunch. And, I don't want you to introduce your girlfriend to me. Yes, I don't wanna know about her.

I still remember that day. You asked my number and wondering if we can meet again. I said, we can always meet again by asking my ex best friend first. And with that reason, I refuse to give you my number haha. But now, your friend is not my best friend again. We even barely talk now. How could we meet again? While I was thinking about that, you have walked so far away in the blink of my eye. And I'm regretting it now that I didn't give you my number (or ask your number).

Inside my heart, I keep thinking and drooling over you.

Damn it, you're getting handsome these days. Especially, when u're in suit *cries*.


Now I enjoy to speak my mind in english. Besides, it seems that no one giving any crap in this blog, lol. Which means, no one read this blog and I can talk about anything in here. Well, it doesn't mean that I don't like anyone read this blog. Seriously, what's the point to make it public. But, I kinda bothered by the fact that some cruel people from my past are reading my blog that mostly filled by my scandalous life that I will never ever share to the world. I mean, they are totally cruel people who will definitely laugh so hard behind my back.

And I'm surely can imagine one person who will smirk at me now, telling people about how pity my life is and then they make a joke about it. I swear, if that really happening in the future, I will chop that person's head MWAHAHAHAHAHA.

Anyway, I was on twitter and people were talking about Stockholm Syndrome. I was surprised that the very definition of Stockholm Syndrome almost define my dad and mom's act to me and my siblings. I, myself don't know how to feel about this. Coz whatever they did to us, it affect our love life. I mean, we, three brother and sister don't easily fall in love, that's for one. We don't just play around with any guys and girls.

And other news today is......

Damn, I miss Ikkyu so much.

I was so close to get a resolution to get his love no matter what. But, that is so wrong. And I still don't know what to do.

The Truth About me NOW

So, yeah... I'm broken-hearted now. Again.

This time with the most beautiful guy I've ever seen. I fell in love with him at the first sight. Again.

Gosh, I just don't know how it works. Why on earth I always fall in love at first sight? It's excruciating, because from the moment I saw him, I was already crazy in love. No need for him to give me gifts, all those flattering words and stuffs, then BANG!, my heart is in his hands completely.

Okay, for the record, I know how it works. I'm actually has a 'thing' like I can visualize every person's personality in the first sight. You can say that this is a 6th sense or something, but I just know about people that I met for the first time. And of course when I met Ikkyu (a guy that broke my heart), I just know him.

My heart was telling me that he is so kind that he'll be able to be fooled by people. Not to mention he also has a great smile and tall and beautiful, lols. My weaknesses are all there. So obvious I fell in love right away. I remember he used to tell my friend that I was not interested in him. He was so devastated back then coz' my friends keep pushing him to hitting on me.

But, the truth is, I was so into him that I had no power to talk normally to him, but he thought on the contrary. And here I am now, wondering what would happened if at that time, I wasn't acting myself, and I wore make-up, mascara, and stuff, then flirted at him. I am wondering if at that time, I asked his phone number with the sweetest smile on my face and said something nice to him, like 'Man, you're so handsome'. Maybe we can become an item for now.

But, I know God has a plan for this too. Or maybe he's not the one. I gotta look somewhere. Someone who has same sweetest smile like Ikkyu. Or maybe better than that.

But, one thing I adore about Ikkyu so much. He's an honest person. I mean he bravely told me that he's taken, that he's already got himself a girlfriend. Totally not like a jerk from my past who lied to me that he already had a girlfriend.

God, tell me please.

Should I steal Ikkyu from his girlfriend?
Or should I find another guy?


Really. What could I do without God? Nothing.

But my faith is fading.

I wish I was the old me. Standing on the darkness within myself. Totally counting on it to keep living. In that way, at least I could be stronger inside and outside. Thinking that I don’t bother with anyone. I don’t give a damn about other people. They hurt me, I hurt them more.

People are so mean inside. A real human is only thinking about themselves only. Their nature is to hate other people, and that’s why I hate people back. But since I know God, I don’t hate no more. I strip my darkness upon His Cross, and I don’t know why I feel so fragile after that.

Lord, I give up.

After all my lies that I don’t need You no more, deep inside I’m crying to have Thee by my side.

And I know You won’t just give up on me.

Thank You so much, Lord. I love You always.

Am Tired to be hurt


How long I’ve waited for an exciting desire in my heart.
For the one that I will think about all the time.
For the one that I will give everything to.

I was empty at that time.
The feeling of longing someone out there.

But, when I found that someone,
I know I will be crushed into pieces.
Crying all my feeling,
In happy moments or in sad moments

There’s a saying,
‘It’s better to get rejected than not speak your feeling to the one you love’,
But I said otherwise,
It’s better to not speak your feeling than get rejected.

I have told everything that was kept in my heart to him,
I did everything I could to get his love,
But then I turn as a wounded animal.

I wish I didn't say all of that,
At least my wound wouldn't be this hurt.

I’m tired to get hurt, blistered, and everything.

I just want to be happy.

Have a peace in my mind and soul.

(Picture taken from HERE.)